I don't understand how people do not realize how amazing this is for the Egyptian people. This still makes me feel exhilarated and I am still on a quest to see who is behind this and why (besides the obvious reason).

"A child of Cleopatra" - Cleopatra speaks from within me

As always I wrote something, hide it in a closet with hundreds of other things and decided to share months later :) haha enjoy, I'd like to hear feedback if you read this!

"A child of Cleopatra: Cleopatra speaks from within me"

March 24, 2015 2:30 pm:

My parents are always telling me to not share my mind publicly. My mind and all it encompasses; thoughts, ideas, theories. 'Everyone already knows you're smart wa betfakary f Bhagat 3'areeba.' 'Betektby hagat 3al fb' they say, 'balash tekteby'. Making me feel weird for not being like other women. Not living of the obsession of material objects, and preparing my housewife skills. Sigh. I am not like the other girls and I do not want to be.

It's almost wrong, That I came out as in individual in constant pursuit of wisdom. That people, countries, cultures, books, experiences, ancient philosophy, and the theory of world systems fascinates me. It's ungirly. Unseen. Unattractive. Its unheard of in my ancient city of Alexandria. Ironic -

The women of Alexandria have been known to be exotic and unique in their own way for centuries. 'Banat Iskindriya', they say. That's a thing, and for a reason. The city itself has always been a beacon of history, arts, education and power. It's ironic because that makes my being simply a byproduct of my ecological location. Alexandria's women, are it's name. We are Pearls of the Mediterranean. The spirit of Queen Cleopatra was reborn through me and each and everyone one of us. Her courage, might, will and wit can be found in your soul. Just because present day society does not give you the space to be the daughter of Cleopatra that you are does not mean the space isn't there. And just because you realize you're lost and have become a product of society, does not mean you can no longer find your path and reach your destination. For the path is there, it's just waiting for you to step on it and take charge.

Don't let the negatives of our culture & society hold you back from ruling your kingdom once more. You were built to conquer and born to succeed. Create your space, and pursue what your soul desires. For Imagine how deprived your eyesight will be if you were trapped inside for months unable to see the beautiful sea along the cornish everyday. And imagine how numb your tongue would become if you could nolonger devour fresh fish and seafood from our ports. Now imagine what you have been doing to your soul all this time. Consciously or not. Let it breath. It's time to ignite the fire that won't burn out. Quit preoccupying your precious time with present day materials, gadgets and gossip. Make your way through the crowd and break free already.

The fact that my parents know their daughter is already and will becoming an even more powerful valuable woman, is not what they expected. But it is something in me that I cannot silence.

We are all children of Cleopatra.

Why I don't blog much

People always ask me why I never post more on my blog, why I never share my work. 

I'm a thinker, also meaning that I am an over thinker. 

I think too much about anything and everything. 

Everything fascinates me and is worth pondering in my eyes. 

I have the creativity of a child that fuels my thoughts to go on and on for hours and hours. I'm always writing, I'm always thinking. 

I think too much, I write too much. 

When I write too much I fear that I have out spoken myself. Every. Single. Time. Even now as I'm writing this. 

I don't free your judgment as I have posted this to explain. It's just that my thoughts bounce of each other leading me to endless places.

It's the same thing that happens when I speak too much in person & passion strikes through my larynx. 

I pause and recollect in fear. I question if the person understood, if they were following, if they even cared because surly nobody cares as much about something as I do when my passion roars. 

It's off putting, many times I've noticed that female intelligence is unattractive and weird. 

I don't mind being an alien, I'm content with my power and capability that people don't understand because they don't possess it.

I've always been the odd one out because of this.

I wish I had someone to bounce ideas of off. I think it's fun... thinking, creating.

As stressful and nerve racking as it can be when on over drive, I appreciate the stimulation. So that's why.

I stop in person or prevent myself to save you the concern. As I do on this blog. 

I try, but everytime I write a piece I write 5 more. And as a perfectionist I vow to wait till a later time to look over what I said & filter or make it more coherent. 

Because surly it's the same as when we never make decisions when emotional whether being extremely happy or extremely upset. 

When I free write, I write with passion. When I'm done, I wait but then I never end up getting to cleaning all this up, so these stuff just sit their in my notes to collect virtual dust...

This is why I don't blog much.

(PS: This is my 4th free write today)

(PSS: cleaning this up was such a struggle, 

maybe also cause its extra work for no reason. 

Yet at the same time its productive in so many ways, 

...i could start another rant just about this... ughh see what i mean, k final bye.)

The Suns Continue burning till this Day - 11/1/12

The suns continue burning till this day.
       Conversations forever minimized;
       The grains gently slide away.

Heart enlarges due to the feeling of pleasantness.
       laughter echoes;
The suns continue burning till this day.

Name engraved deep into their souls.
        Now filled with mold, allowing
        the grains to gently slide away.

Hand in any angle should I fall.
        Support loosens;
The suns continue burning till this day.

Iceberg struck down
        The movie fades to black;
        the grains gently slide away.

Still owning a huge meaning to my life
        ache in place of the absence.
The suns continue burning till this day,
the grains gently slide away.

                                              - Shourouk Abdalla


I loved poetry. I love writing poetry. I loved poetry class. I got a 18 out of 20 for this in my AP english class 3 years ago. I still don't understand how you can grade poetry, or Art in general. "Beautiful lines" she said "could use light, meaning could be little clear" she said. You have to look deep into yourself to find the meaning because you'll never be able to look deep into me and take mine. That's the beauty of poetry.

Time so self evaluate Egyptians

Notable reflection while being in Egypt this past winter 

Dec 1st 2014:
"I'm actually not comfortable at all with the hierarchy system here in Egypt. I was waiting for an elevator and their was a delivery man waiting ahead of me. When the elevator came he opened the door out of courtesy to let me in but then closed it without entering. I felt ashamed; since he was obviously less wealthy than me, I automatically had the right of way? My status automatically gave me entitlement. It wasn't my turn. It was his turn. It was too late to demand him to come in or ride first. Even if possible, how would I have been able to do that. How would I have been able to convince him that it's his right to ride right now. It felt unfair. It felt very unfair, and I am not even the one who should be upset. For me it's injustice, for him it's the norm. This tiny incident really stuck out to me. Made me ponder a reoccurring question. How can we want to implement democratic values in a country where the opposite is so deeply rooted within our culture?" 

I saw this situation everywhere, even with my closest friends. So let me help put y'all in check. You are in no way any better than the man or woman standing next to you. Being richer doesn't mean anything and it sure doesn't mean you have the right to live a patriarchic life and ignore equality. Just because you're a materialistic fool who wears all brands or wants to always be best dressed during EVERY outing *cringes*, DOESNT, let me repeat DOES NOT mean you're automatically the leader of the pack, the cooler person in the group etc etc etc. Please realize that this is wrong and needs to change for the sake of progression in our country. The real things that are holding us back is the people, el sha3b el masri. Start trying to evaluate your self and daily routine life. Search for flaws (trust me they're there) and over time think about how you can change that about yourself and inner family. If you find this too hard (if you think 'garabt wa mafesh haga 3'alat') simply watch your family or group of friends. Make this a goal in 2015. You'll come to realize a lot and come out transformed, at least in thought, I promise. If everyone tried this with their inner family our country will be way better off. And while there's a possibility of 1k reading this I'm more than satisfied knowing tat 15 people read this, 10 are willing to try this out in order to better themselves, and 5 will talk about there findings/conclusions with someone else and encourage them to try it out. If you to reflect with someone but don't have that person in your life who's interested in talking about anything outside the mainstream, Message Me!! I'd love to listen to your reflections and go back and forth with you and exchange opinions. 

With Love, 

Shourouk